Yu-Gi-Oh GX - Crossroads (10/11)
Jun. 17th, 2009 08:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
heleentjeStory Title: Crossroads
Chapter Title: Courage to Confront
Author: Heleentje
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh GX
Rating: T
Characters: Johan, Yubel, Judai, Gem Beasts
Word Count: 2250
Warnings/spoilers: spiritshipping-if-you-squint, psycheshipping-if-you-look-sideways-and-s
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh GX or any of its characters
“You’re actually serious,” Johan breathed, “you actually mean it...”
“Yes! Don’t you see it?”
“But...” Johan swallowed heavily, “How did that happen? I mean, why me?”
Judai shrugged: “No idea. You could ask the same about me, though. That’s just the way it is.”
“That doesn’t make sense, Judai, you can’t be right.” Amethyst Cat made her way over to the bed and jumped on it, sitting down in between Johan and Judai.
Judai frowned: ‘Why not?”
“For starters, if Johan is Yubel, how can they be in the same room at the same time? And you’re so fast to draw that conclusion. Why is that?”
“She’s right,” Sapphire Pegasus said, “Judai? Why is that?”
“I don’t think that Johan is the Yubel you’re seeing now,” Judai began, “Just that he’s the Yubel who was human.”
Amethyst Cat frowned and brought her face close to Judai’s: “You’re avoiding the question. Why are you so fast to decide this?”
“Do you want Johan to be Yubel?” Cobalt Eagle asked.
Judai didn’t answer. Amethyst Cat gasped.
“You want Johan to be Yubel, you really want him to be!”
Johan stared at him incredulously: “Judai... Why?”
“It’s not that! Johan, I want to help you!”
“You didn’t deny it. Why do you want me-”
“That’s besides the question.”
Johan looked up, facing Yubel directly for the first time: “Is it true?”
“I don’t like it. But I agree with Judai.”
“I don’t understand...”
“Johan, you shouldn’t believe it!” Topaz Tiger yelled. He jumped up, pushing Amethyst Cat out of the way so that he was now face to face with Judai: “It’s your idea, isn’t it? I don’t know what you’re playing at, but you will not hurt Johan. I won’t allow it!”
Yubel and Johan moved at the same time, trying to get between Judai and Topaz Tiger.
“Please, stop!” Johan shouted, “It’s not Judai’s fault!”
Topaz Tiger growled lowly, but backed away. Johan looked at Judai out of the corner of his eye. The boy’s earlier excitement had disappeared.
“Johan, I’m sorry. But I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“I know,” Johan got up, “I need to be alone for a while.”
He left the room quickly, and made his way over to the living room, where he sat down on the couch. He folded up his legs underneath him, staring blankly ahead of him and giving his thoughts free rein.
He wanted to say that it made no sense, but the problem was that it did. And he knew Judai wouldn’t lie to him, he trusted him. But it was hard. His whole life had suddenly been turned upside down. What was real and what wasn’t?
If he was Yubel, what did that really make him? Did he even have his own life? Or was he just some plaything of fate, destined to do the same things over and over again?
Who was he really?
He shook his head quickly, to rid himself of he last thought, but it refused to go away. He spotted movement out of the corner of his eye, watched Pharaoh jumping of a chair and walking over to him. The cat jumped onto the couch, and nudged his hand with its head. Johan absently petted it.
Pharaoh yawned widely, and to his surprise, Johan noticed a small ball of light escape from its mouth. The sphere hovered in front of him for a second, before moving to his right, and expanding, until Johan could make out the form of a human spirit.
“Johan-kun, good morning.”
“Good morning,” Johan greeted in return, “You are Daitokuji-sensei, right? It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine,” Daitokuji-sensei replied, “You appear to be troubled.”
“Ah, yes...”
“Would you like to talk?”
Johan paused, then nodded. An outsider’s perspective might help.
“Do you know...?” he began.
Daitokuji-sensei lifted one hand in embarrassment: “I couldn’t help but overhear...”
Johan slouched slightly, placing his hands behind his head and watching Pharaoh as the cat climbed onto his lap and settled down.
“I’m not sure what to do, really.”
“Does it bother you?”
“I’m...” Johan frowned slightly, “I’m not really sure. Is it true?”
“I do believe it is. Of course, I have been wrong before.”
“It explains a lot, but Yubel and me...”
“Are you afraid, Johan-kun?”
“Of Yubel? Not really... But we are not on good terms.”
Daitokuji-sensei nodded sagely: “Johan-kun, you are a remarkable person.”
“How so?” Johan asked, “I am not special like Judai.”
“You have a pure heart and you are able to forgive. You don’t hate Yubel, even though you have every right to do so.”
“Judai trusts her.”
“And you trust Judai-kun?”
“Yes, always.”
“Then that makes you very remarkable. To be able to trust completely is a very rare gift indeed.”
“I guess...”
“What troubles you?”
“If Cobalt Eagle was right... Does Judai really want me to be Yubel?”
“Judai-kun cares a lot about you,” Daitokuji-sensei smiled slightly: “I daresay that he would like to reinforce the connection between you two.”
“There’s no need for-”
“No. This bond the two of you share is extraordinarily strong. But Judai-kun too needs to be reassured sometimes.”
“I don’t know what I should do now.”
“Johan-kun, you are strong. And everyone here will help you. You are not alone.”
Johan stared at Daitokuji-sensei, who nodded reassuringly: “You mustn’t worry.”
“Thank you,” Johan smiled. He yawned and closed his eyes.
“Maybe you should rest? It is very early.”
“Yes, maybe...”
“Then I will leave you now. It was a pleasure to meet you, Johan-kun.”
“Yes. And thank you.”
Daitokuji-sensei smiled lightly, before turning back into a small orb of light. Pharaoh jumped up from Johan’s lap.
“Good luck, Johan-kun!”
Pharaoh jumped and snatched to sphere out of the air, toying with it for a few seconds before opening its mouth and swallowing it. Johan stretched out on the couch. He didn’t feel like facing Judai and the Gem Beasts yet, and the couch had become like a second bed to him. He had no trouble sleeping there anymore.
--
When Johan woke up he noticed that it was nearing twelve o’clock. He also noticed that someone -probably Judai- had covered him with a blanket. He noticed a weight near his feet and spotted Pharaoh sleeping there, but apart from the cat, he appeared to be alone.
He got up, ignoring an indignant Pharaoh, who now had to relocate, and went to the kitchen, expecting to find Judai there. He was in for a surprise though, as the kitchen proved to be as empty as the living room, and he briefly wondered if Judai had left. His bag was still next to the couch, though, so that disproved that theory. Johan took out a slice of bread for himself, and set of in search for the other inhabitants of the apartment.
He eventually found Judai in the study, fully dressed and doodling on a piece of paper. Yubel was with him, of course, as were Cobalt Eagle, Sapphire Pegasus, Amethyst Cat and Topaz Tiger. Ruby materialized when he entered, and the others looked up.
“Good morning, Johan.” Judai smiled at him uncertainly, and Johan smiled back. Judai looked visibly relieved.
“Good morning. What are you doing?”
“Ah, yes, come here for a second. We think we’ve figured it out.”
Johan made his way over to Judai, who showed him the piece of paper he’d been doodling on.
“Stick figures?” Johan raised an eyebrow.
“It’s just a sketch!”
Judai took the paper from Johan and pointed at the first of five figures. It was drawn with a red pen and had ‘Judai’ scribbled above it.
“That’s me, obviously,” Judai moved his finger to the figure next to the first one. This one was also in red, and wore a quickly drawn crown, “That’s Haou Judai. Still me, actually.”
He pointed at the third red figure, this one slightly smaller than the other two: “And that’s Haou. The former me.”
Johan’s gaze shifted to the remaining two figures, both drawn with a blue pen. Judai pointed at the one underneath ‘Haou’
“This here is human Yubel. the one who sacrificed himself for Haou.” He moved his finger to the left, and indicated the second figure: “Logically, this is Yubel as you know her.”
He put down the paper and looked at Johan: “Do you get it? Haou’s forms and Yubel’s forms run parallel, but there’s one missing on Yubel’s side.” He drew a question mark underneath the ‘Judai’ figure.
“And that’d be me.”
“Exactly!” Judai drew a sixth figure next to the question mark, and wrote ‘Johan’ above it.
“That doesn’t really prove it’s me, though. Only that there’s someone missing from the equation.”
“Yes, but all the weird stuff you noticed, and those dreams... They’re definitely Yubel’s memories.”
“Do you believe him, Johan?” Sapphire Pegasus asked.
“Do you?”
Sapphire Pegasus bowed his head: “I think I do... It adds up.”
Johan looked at the other Gem Beasts present: “How about you guys?”
“We discussed this while you were asleep,” Cobalt Eagle answered him, “Judai explained most of it and it sort of fits your story.”
“I still don’t get how both of them exist at the same time.” Amethyst Cat said.
Johan looked at Judai questioningly.
“We -that’s me and Yubel-, we have a theory. During the operation, Yubel’s soul must have split. One part became the Yubel you know, the other part became you.”
Johan nodded slowly: “That makes sense... In a weird way.”
“You’re okay with it?”
“It’s a lot to accept, but I will be, I think,” Johan shook his head and corrected himself, “in a way, I think I already have.”
“It explains why you were dreaming so often.” Topaz Tiger said.
Johan turned to Judai: “Those dreams... Will they go away?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe once you remember everything. There ought to be a trigger, but we haven’t found it yet. We’ll have to wait.”
“And what does this make me?”
Judai frowned: “What do you mean?”
“All this... Who am I?”
Judai got up and placed one hand on Johan’s shoulder: “You are Johan Andersen. Just like I am Yuki Judai.”
“But...”
“All this doesn’t make you a different person. You’ve always been like this, it’s only now that you realize it. You’re still Johan.”
Johan stayed silent.
“Maybe you and Yubel should talk?” Judai tried.
“I don’t know...”
“I asked Yubel. She agrees.”
Johan looked at Yubel, who nodded shortly.
“Okay then.”
“I’ll leave you two alone? Oh, wait a second.” Judai’s eyes flashed and briefly changed color; Yubel became solid.
“This might make it easier to talk.”
“That’s useful.” Johan grinned.
“It is,” Judai turned to leave, “See you!”
The Gem Beasts disappeared as well, leaving Johan and Yubel alone. Johan moved towards the chair Judai had used, then thought better of it and instead sat down on his desk.
“So...” Johan struggled to find words.
“You didn’t suspect earlier?”
“What?” Johan asked, puzzled, “How could I have known?”
“No, no, I guess you couldn’t have known,” Yubel answered, and Johan wondered if he should feel insulted.
“Did you know?”
“I suspected, but only when Judai told me we had to come here.”
“How is that?”
“It was too easy to remove your soul from your body. A body normally shouldn’t be able to function without its own soul, yet yours accepted my soul as a replacement.” Yubel’s tone was dry, detached. Johan swallowed and tried to ignore the clenching sensation in his stomach.
“So your soul was compatible with my body?” he tried to adopt the same detached tone Yubel had used.
“Yes.”
“I have one more question. There is one dream that makes me hate Judai, why is that? I thought you only ever wanted to protect him.”
“It’s what I felt when I returned to earth.”
“But I’m not really you.”
Yubel shook her head: “I have a theory. It is possible that, upon re-entry, part of the scattered energy latched on to the being closest to me.”
“But you didn’t land anywhere near here.”
“Energy and emotion only work in terms of spiritual closeness, not in terms of distance. You were the being most like me.”
“I see...”
Johan glanced at the paper still lying on the desk. He and Yubel were one and the same, why were they so very different?
“There is your bond with Judai.” Yubel said.
“So it all comes down to that. Doesn’t it bother you?”
“It does. However, Judai is a kind person and he likes you, so I will not interfere.”
“Thank you.”
Yubel moved suddenly, until she was standing right in front of Johan.
“Long ago, I made a promise to protect Judai in any way I could. You made that same promise. Therefore, we have the same purpose.”
“I see.” Maybe they really weren’t that different.
“If you come back on that promise, or hurt Judai, I will know where to find you. Do you understand?”
“I understand completely,” Johan suddenly smiled, “Really, I understand.”
An unspoken agreement passed between the two of them. Yubel turned around to leave.
“Yubel?”
“What is it?”
“I know we didn’t start off on the best terms, but maybe we could try again?” Johan held out his hand.
Yubel looked at him, her eyes moving from his face to the outstretched hand. Finally, she moved forward and placed her hand in Johan’s.
Johan smiled.
“I am Johan Andersen. Nice to meet you.”