Yu-Gi-Oh GX - Crossroads (3/11)
Jun. 17th, 2009 06:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
heleentjeStory Title: Crossroads
Chapter Title: Agonizing Heart
Author: Heleentje
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh GX
Rating: T
Characters: Johan, Yubel, Judai, Gem Beasts
Word Count: 2372
Warnings/spoilers: spiritshipping-if-you-squint, psycheshipping-if-you-look-sideways-and-s
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh GX or any of its characters
When Johan finally woke up again, it was dark already. He felt better now. He was still tired, and he would feel the after-effects of the plane trip for a while, but in a few days, his body would have adapted to this rhythm again. He sat upright and looked around. Sapphire Pegasus had disappeared, but Amethyst Cat was curled up next to his bed, sleeping soundly.
Johan silently got out of bed and walked around her, trying his best not to wake her up. He headed for the kitchen, looking for something edible, but to his dismay, he had to throw away a lot of things immediately. Most of the food he kept in his fridge had gone bad during his absence.
He didn’t feel like going out and buying something, though. He briefly considered ordering pizza, but finally decided against it and grabbed some eggs. He wasn’t a brilliant cook, but throughout the years he had learned to prepare some dishes by himself, and omelettes were something he excelled in.
He had just finished eating when Amethyst Cat strolled in. She yawned widely, showing off her canines in a way that Johan suspected was at least partly intentional, but when she looked at him again, her face was stern.
“Johan, what happened last night?”
“Hello to you too,” Johan grinned, hoping that it would placate her. He still didn’t feel like talking. However, judging by the deepening frown on her face, he wouldn’t have such luck.
Both Sapphire Pegasus and Topaz Tiger chose that moment to materialise. All of a sudden, the kitchen felt rather small.
“We want to know as well,” Sapphire Pegasus said. He exchanged looks with his two friends, and all three of them stared at Johan, waiting for an explanation.
“It was just a nightmare, really. Nothing out of the ordinary!”
“Johan, you know just as well as we do that you almost never have nightmares, and you certainly never woke up screaming before!” Amethyst Cat stalked closer, her teeth bared. Johan hoped that it was unintentional.
“However much you want to deny it, it wasn’t ‘ordinary’,” Topaz Tiger spoke up, “do you know what happened?”
Johan got up and carried his plate to the dishwasher. He looked over his shoulder. “I don’t know what it meant, all I know is that the person in my dream was being hurt. That’s why I was screaming.”
“So you were just watching? You weren’t actually part of it?” Sapphire Pegasus asked.
“No... No, I was that person. It was me.” Johan sighed, defeated, “But honestly, it’s a dream. And I’ve only had it once, how can it mean anything?”
“We care about you, we don’t want anything to happen to you,” Topaz Tiger told him, and Sapphire Pegasus and Amethyst Cat nodded in agreement.
“I know, and I care about you too. You’re my family!” Johan returned to the living room, and his monsters followed him. “But, really, let’s just leave it alone for a while.”
The trio grudgingly accepted. They didn’t disappear, however, but watched how Johan switched on the TV and started flipping through channels. Amethyst Cat jumped onto the sofa next to him, while Johan looked for something interesting to watch.
“... umors have surfaced that Kaiba Corporation is planning on supporting a new Pro Circuit. Nothing is known about the founders of this new Circuit, but the dueling world is in uproar...”
Johan sat up straighter, his interest piqued.
“... One of the top sponsors was willing to grant us an interview.”
A rather short man appeared on screen, looking for all the world like the stereotype of a greedy manager. He was red in the face. Johan assumed it was caused by the indignation that seemed to flow off him in waves.
“This is unheard of!” The man started, and Johan had to laugh at the tone of his voice. “Never in the history of the Pro Leagues has such an attempt succeeded, and we will do everything in our power to keep it that way! Kaiba’s support won’t help them!”
“So they actually succeeded?” Johan asked, more to himself than to anyone else. He grinned, happy for the Marufuji brothers. “Guess I know where to go to after all!”
The news bulletin went on about the possible ramifications of a new Pro Circuit, but Johan quickly lost interest and started flicking through channels again. His attention was briefly held by a cartoon he suspected Judai would have enjoyed if he understood Norwegian (although he probably would’ve complained about the lack of realistic aliens), but when the plot went the same predictable way as most cartoons, he switched off the TV completely.
Yawning, he noticed that it was nearing midnight now. He had slept through the day, but his body was tired again, and he probably should be resuming a normal schedule anyway. He showered first, the plane flight had left him feeling rather sweaty, but he had been too exhausted to care about it earlier.
His bed was in slight disarray, but since he had fallen asleep on top of the covers earlier, the mess wasn’t too bad. He actually got under the covers this time, now fully appreciating the comfort of his own bed. Amethyst Cat had apparently decided to guard him, for while she had let him shower in private, she now entered the bedroom and hopped onto the bed without any explanation. Johan was used to it, though. He rarely passed a night without at least one of the Gem Beasts at his side. He shifted to the side (Amethyst Cat needed a lot more room than Ruby), and watched her as she curled up. After making sure she was sleeping soundly (he looked out for the Gem Beasts as much as they did for him), he leaned back and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to come.
It keeps hurting, and he’s screaming so much, so very much, but now he’s not alone. ‘Cause someone else is screaming too, begging for it to stop...
Oh, please, make it stop...
Only he can’t, ‘cause the one screaming is the one worth protecting and he needs to get through this.
And he can hear his voice now, and it’s so familiar. He clings to it like it’s the only thing left, the only thing he’s still living for, ‘cause the pain is too much, and he feels the darkness overtaking him. Gentle darkness, the darkness he needs to protect...
“Johan! Johan, wake up!”
Johan almost fell out of his bed from the shock. His forehead was burning again, and the pain was slowly starting to spread through his body. Amethyst Cat was looming over him, and through squinted eyes he could see the other Gem Beasts materialising one by one. Topaz Tiger jumped forward and skidded to a halt right in front of him.
“What happened? It happened again, didn’t it? I told you it wasn’t just a dream!” His expression was almost feral, and he practically pushed Amethyst Cat of the bed in his hurry to get near him.
Johan stared at them, his eyes still half-closed and his hands going up to ease the pain in his head. He rolled over, feeling decidedly worse for wear, and tried to bury his head in his pillow. That only served to increase the headache, though.
“Johan, please, you were screaming!”
“Recurring nightmare?” He tried weakly. Even tiny Ruby didn’t seem to buy it. She floated closer to him, chirping concernedly.
Johan rolled over again, shielding his eyes with his hands. Even though there wasn’t any light in the room, the few rays that came from outside were still too much.
“What do you remember?” Sapphire Pegasus asked. The worry in his voice was evident, but he somehow managed to stay calmer than the other Gem Beasts.
“I don’t know. Pain, lots of pain... And someone shouting... It sounded familiar?”
“Who?!”
Unbidden, a fragment of his dream resurfaced. No words, just shouting. And that voice, he knew it...
“Judai!” He realised, “it sounded like Judai!”
“Judai?’” Amethyst Cat and Emerald Turtle echoed.
“What does it mean? Why would Judai want to hurt you?” Cobalt Eagle asked, flying up so he was hovering near the ceiling.
“He... didn’t hurt me. At least, I don’t think so.”
“But Judai and pain? Why? You don’t think it has to do with the Dark World, do you?
Johan thought about it. He hadn’t really known pain in the Dark World, just nothingness. Still the experience was awful enough to come back and haunt him. But in this form? And Yubel... Yubel had hurt him, but Judai had tried to explain everything to him a few days ago...
--
“Two more hours until we reach Duel Academia.”
There was a note of urgency in Judai’s voice, and Johan couldn’t blame him. Judai was staring at the horizon, as if trying to speed up the journey through sheer willpower. Johan watched the water flash by as Judai steered the speedboat with a confidence that betrayed lots of practice. Or maybe it was just the confidence that seemed to shine through in every single one of his actions.
Johan marveled. Judai had always been confident, but that had been the confidence of an optimist, confidence that came with being able to see the good in the world. It was the sort of confidence he hoped he himself possessed too.
But now it was different. Judai practically exuded power. Once again, Johan found himself wondering what exactly had happened in the Dark World.
Judai seemed to have read his mind, for he suddenly turned towards him.
“Do you know what has happened?”
“I don’t know the details.” That was true. Sho and Jim had told him about everyone dying, about Haou and later Yubel, but they had had a hard time with telling him the specificiations, partly because it was too painful and partly because they just didn’t know.
“Do you want to know? There’s still time.”
Johan thought about it briefly. The memory of being possessed was painful, but he ‘d rather know the full truth, however ugly it was, than spend the rest of his life in ignorance. He nodded quickly and decisively.
Judai nodded too. He turned back around, so that he faced away from Johan. The air was silent for a while, with Judai trying to sort out his thoughts and Johan waiting patiently. At long last, Judai turned back around.
“The whole story... It’s complicated. You know that everything that happened the last few months was caused by Yubel?”
Johan nodded.
“It was my fault.”
Johan wanted to disagree, but Judai lifted a hand to shush him.
“I can’t deny it. I made a promise a long time ago, but I broke it. I forgot about her.”
“But... You were a child...”
“No.”
Judai checked the trajectory of the speedboat, and when he had made sure that they were still going in the right direction, sank down to the floor. Johan wondered if he didn’t need to steer, but followed his lead anyway.
“This promise was made long before I was born. At least, long before Judai was born.” He gestured at himself. Johan furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what his friend was telling him.
“You know about Haou too, don’t you?”
“Yes. He’s the other side of you?”
“In a way. But Haou came into existence long before me. He’s me from a past life.”
A lot of pieces were falling into place now.
“So, you’re his reincarnation? And Yubel... Yubel was part of your past life?”
“Yubel was Haou’s --my-- best friend. He sacrificed everything for me. He was transformed into the dragon you know now.”
Emotion was flitting over his face now, and he didn’t try to conceal it. Johan waited.
“Haou was the prince of darkness. He needed someone to protect him.”
“Yubel...” Johan breathed.
“Yes. Yubel protected Haou and protects me still. That was his promise. But Haou made a promise of his own.”
Judai paused for a minute, staring at the horizon. Johan trailed one hand through the water, still waiting patiently.
“Haou promised Yubel his love. It’s a promise I can’t and won’t break.”
And Johan understood. Didn’t even need to hear the end of the story to know what had happened. But Judai wanted to tell this, and he would give him the chance to do so.
“You know already, don’t you? We were fused together. My soul and Yubel’s soul are now one.”
Judai was watching him now, trying to gauge his reaction. When Johan didn’t say anything, he spoke again.
“Are you angry?”
Johan looked up sharply: “No! No, I would never -could never- be angry,” --He brought his hands to his heart-- “for such a bond to exist... that’s something magnificent. How could I be angry because of that?”
Judai smiled. A smile that was reminiscent of the smiles he used to give a long time ago, but that carried a small notion of relief with it. He turned his attention back to the boat.
Johan watched him silently for a while. There were still a lot of things between him and Yubel that would need to be resolved. But if Judai trusted her this much, he knew he would one day be able to fully accept her.
--
He didn’t know Yubel very well, but Judai trusted her, and that was enough. He hadn’t had any nightmares after they first returned from the Dark World, so he doubted that he would have trouble with it now.
But that still didn’t explain where the nightmares came from. Maybe Darkness? Did something happen that influenced his mind? After all, Darkness could make people forget...
He was suddenly wide awake, sitting upright so fast that both Amethyst Cat and Topaz Tiger had to jump back.
“Johan, what is it?”
“Darkness made people forget, right? When it beat someone, that person got removed from everyone’s memories!”
“Yes, but what’s that got to do with...” Sapphire Pegasus began.
“I never forgot!” Johan swivelled around, facing the other Gem Beasts. “I should’ve forgotten so many people, but I never did. I remembered everyone, always!”